Just Try
by Shekiah Rosay
Summary: One afternoon of many during the middle-section of New Moon, Bella is at Jacob's. Leah Clearwater comes to visit and they have a girl-to-girl talk about heartbroken-ness and what it takes to move on. Pre-BD Leah, so maybe a little too nice, haha.


I disclaim the rights to Twilight, they are the amazing Stephenie Meyer's. I guess this is a Team Jacob story... although I'm kind of Switzerland myself. Enjoy!

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"I know how you're feeling, Bella."

The soft voice came from behind me and startled me a little – I turned around and Leah stood there by herself, her expression gentle and a little bit concerned. Jacob wasn't anywhere to be found. I did, however, have a blanket draped over my shoulders that I really didn't remember having been there before. Things were beginning to come together.

"I'm sorry if I scared you; Jacob asked me to look after you while he went to talk to the others."

I hadn't even realized that I'd fallen asleep on Jacob's couch watching TV. That happened more often than it should, but with as little sleep as I got nowadays, at least I had an excuse. It didn't really bother Jacob, until I started talking about Edward. I guess that's what must have happened.

"I was talking about him, wasn't I?" I asked groggily, sitting up. Leah nodded, smiling grimly.

"I'm afraid so."

"Damn it," I sighed. Ugh. The werewolves were rubbing off on me; they all swore like drunken sailors. "I didn't mean to run Jake off like that."

"He'll get over it," Leah sighed, sitting down beside me. "Here, have a brownie. Emily made a few batches earlier for the pack, and I miraculously managed to save you one."

I accepted it, thanking her and taking a bite. It was delicious, and I was sure that Emily hadn't used a mix.

"What do you mean, you know how I feel?" I asked her quietly as I chewed. Her eyes looked a little sad, though she continued to smile as she looked back.

"You've heard about what happened with Emily and Sam, I'm sure?"

I nodded. I noticed for the first time that it was a little difficult for her to say Emily's name.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. She shook her head, her look hardening.

"I've moved on. And you need to, too."

I must have given her a confused look, because she went on.

"Jacob told me what happened with you and that bloodsu– vampire boy. I was there the night Sam found you, too. I know what you're going through – it feels like there's a big hole in the center of your chest and you have to stop and hold yourself together."

I nodded, my eyes wide. I had forgotten all about the brownie, and it sat abandoned on Jacob's battered coffee table.

"You can't live like that forever," she said sternly. "Take it from somebody else who's been in love and lost it all. _Nobody_ is worth this. Don't give me that skeptical look. I know you don't believe me now, but you have to take my word for it. You're wasting your time – he's not coming back."

"Take that back," I whispered, noticing tears gathering in the corners of my eyes. Leah pursed her lips.

"Bella, don't be so difficult. Grow up. It's not like you're alone in the world."

"Yes I am," I replied, most of my voice absorbed by the pillow I clutched. She snatched it away and threw it across the room. I stared up at her, surprised at the anger I saw in her dark eyes.

"You've got Jacob – though you won't for much longer, if you keep using him like you are! He'd _die_ for you. He's a wonderful boy – a wonderful _man_! Open your eyes!"

I sat there silently, her words hitting me like slaps across the face. I _was_ using Jacob. Bitterly and abysmally, despite how I disguised my intentions, even to myself. How could I be so unfeeling?

"That's right, Bella Swan. Think about somebody besides yourself. I'd think you of all people would be a little bit slower to break somebody else's heart after what you've been through!"

"Don't preach to me," I sighed, though I knew the truth of her words. "I can't _make_ myself love him."

"You can, though," Leah insisted, her voice becoming more imploring than outraged. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. I hadn't noticed it before, but mine were now flowing down my cheeks. "You already do. You just don't know how you love him yet. You have to _move on _first. Pick up the pieces –while you still can. Just try."

I whimpered a little, burying my head in my knees in the absence of my pillow. Leah sat down beside me, and we cried together, our tears mingling as they hit the stained cushions of Jacob's ancient sofa.

"But you haven't picked up the pieces," I murmured. She shook her head.

"But I'm _trying._"


End file.
